Sark the Destroyer

So, Mute and Sark have their issues.

Issue #1: they are both terrorists. Amy has given them both new names, or rather new middle names... DOT. Destroyer Of Things. Sark DOT Benezra and Mute DOT Benezra, oh aren’t they cute!?

Sark.Benezra & Mute.Benezra...

Issue #1: they have their obsessions.

She looks so innocent (above), but Mute is obsessed with paper, as we may have mentioned previously. She seeks it out like a moth to a freakin’ flame. She’ll eat your coupons, paperwork, book, newspaper, whatever. You’ll be reading the paper at the counter, she’ll come chew it. You finish and push it away. She finds it when your back is turned and pulls it to the edge of the counter for easy chewing. You move it again, and she repeats the process until you get up off your lazy ass and put the paper in the recycle bin.

Sure, he gets his sleep on (above), but Sark is obsessed with water. He hops into the kitchen sink, his most common offense, and just likes being slightly damp or near slightly wet things. If you get water from the fridge, he runs over cuz he thinks you might be getting ice, and if you do ice might fall onto the floor, and he’ll spend the next while licking ice on the floor leaving a watery slug-slime-like trail as evidence. And when you mop up the water trail, he wants to roll around on the damp towel too. He loves his water, no matter the form.

Well as it turns out, Sark is also obsessed with bread. Sark is to bread as the Trix Rabbit is the Trix. Once Amy was eating a roll from a pack of Kings Hawaiian. It was a lazy Sunday and she was watching TV. Uncertain of whether it was a one-roll day, or maybe a two-roll day, she thought it wise to err on the side of caution and bring the whole pack to the couch. Within moments, Sark caught a whiff of the rolls and started harassing her. Finally, still being lazy, she resorted to burying the rolls under a blanket at which point Sark started digging into the blanket and frantically biting his way through to get to the rolls. She finally got up and put the damned rolls away, this kid was obsessed! Later that week, the rolls were left out on the counter for a short time and when the humans arrived back on the scene there were no less than 3 holes in the bag, chunks of roll missing and crumbs on the floor.

It should come as no surprise that we recently had another bread incident. Amy had forgotten about the bread obsession and was in hurry that day. She’d purchased 4 packs of her favorite Oroweat Jewish Rye at the outlet store - a rare find as they are usually out of her favorite bread product. She’d used her envirosax bag to carry home the bread, and when she got home with it and the loot from her other errands, she quickly brought everything in and set it all on the kitchen counter before running upstairs to get ready and then out the door to yoga. Upon her arrival what do you think she found?

Below is a short photo essay with Sark as the subject. Amy walked into the house and first thing she sees is Sark sleeping on top of the counter on top of Anthony’s briefcase. New note to selves, no briefcases on the counter. Sark finally got up to stretch and yawn, as evidenced here. We snapped a few more photos before kicking him out.

We take a look at the stuff on the counter to find evidence of mass destruction courtesy of Sark DOT. And what to our wondering eyes should appear? That’s right, one pack of bread with no less than 3 holes in it, still inside the envirosax bag, and crumbs on the floor. Not only that, but there are multiple holes IN the ENVIROSAX bag!! Amy’s favorite green tool, they nylon bag that rolls up nice and small but unrolls into a huge bag for carrying things, saving the planet by not using disposable bags while shopping.

So, while still useable the bag is much worse for wear. The bread is still edible, but damaged goods. And Sark... well, he’s still Sark. Good thing he’s so freakin’ cute... the bastard.

Silly Kitty, bread is for humans!